"This Whole Rendering Is Wrong About Coaching Even A Male Football Team."
"It Was Third Down And Thirty-Five Yards To Go For A First Down."
"It Was Our First Game Against, You Guessed It, Plainfield."
"Coach Edwards Thought I, Too, Was A Wimp, Because, I Had Suffered A Heat-Stroke Attack Running The Ball During A Hot August Football Practice, My Consciousness Lapsed, And I Had To Be Walked Deliriously Into The Squad Room To Have A Cold-Pack Put On My Head."
"Coach Edwards Wanted To Shame, Not Only Marlin, The Other Two Running Backs, And The Whole Team, But, Coach Edwards Wanted To Shame Me, A 135 Pound Wimp."
"Coach Edwards Thought I Was A Wimp, So He Put Me In To Shame The Team."
"Marlin Blocked For Me, Because He Knew My Father Had Grounded Me From Normal High School Social Activities And Romances For Three Whole Years, Since I Was A Sophmore."
"Marlin Would Block For A Loser."
"I Do Not Know What It Is That Makes Some MEN Think They Are Monsters???."
"But We Were Being RAPED BY MEN Until Marlin Blocked And I Ran For My LIFE."
"Maybe Gary Is Absolutely Right!!!!!"
"Male AND Female ABUSIVE TYRANTS..."
"Folks."
"Marlin Blocked For Me That Year."
"I Ran The Ball 9 Times And Scored 7 Touchdowns In Only 4 Games!!!!!?!"
"Thanks...To That Tub-Of-Lard."
"Not Coach Edwards."
"He Went On To Sparta, And I Recently Heard That Sparta Coaches Were Being Sued For Being ABUSIVE."
"Folks."
"Maybe...Women...AND Men Should Be Coached Differently."
"This...Would Make An Excellent Short Story...But...I AM Not Satisfied With The Rendering, Yet."
"I...Was Coach Edwards' Secret Play For Plainfield And Whatever Followed..."
"He Knew From Coach Palen That I Was The Only Runner To Get Back To The Line Of Scrimage In The Sophmore Game, When All The Blockers, Including Marlin, Ducked."
"The Only Thing I Did Not Like About Coach Edwards Is That He Kept The Secret Play Secret From Marlin And I, Probably All Season."
"There Are No Secret MEN...Only Secret WOMEN."
"Why Couldn't Coach Edwards Have Come To Marlin And I As MEN, And Told Us About The Secret Play And Tell Marlin And I That He Was Depending On Us????"
"Instead Of Depending On Marlin And Denigrating Him Out Loud, And Plotting His Big Play Behind Marlin's Back."
"What If Marlin, The Moron Did Not Perform, As He Did????"
"Maybe He Did Not Want Marlin To Know He Had Failed His Big Secret Play Against Plainfield."
"The Miracle...Is That Marlin Did Perform Without Coaching."
"Folks."
"And I Was Coach Edwards' Secret Weapon, But Not Without Marlin!!!!!!"
"Marlin Golke Was Depended Upon By Coach Edwards As Coach Edwards' Secret Weapon!!!!!"
"Folks."
"Coach Edwards' 'Tub-Of-Lard' Comment Was Only Once, After Marlin Had Completed One Of His Later 100 Yard Dashes, And It Was A Toned-Down, Humourous Aside..."
"I Remember Taking Offense, And Looking For Marlin's Reaction."
"He Was Absolutely Of-Of-Breath, And There Was Something Going On In His Mind."
"He Was Shaking His Head, "No...No...No..." To The Humourous, Comical Aside Coach Edwards Had Said...But It Was Somewhat True, And Was Not Said In A Mean Way, But In A Motivational Way."
"I Don't Know How I Feel About Secret Plays, But If It Is Protective Of An Individual, Then Perhaps, But...In Gary's Case, Secret Plays Look Rather BOZO."
"I Wonder What Happened When My Father Reported The UFO Over My House To The Future Secretary Of Defense, Mel Laird?????"
"And...Are We Trying To Manipulate Russia And China, While The American Public Is Getting Their Lights Put Out, And I AM On Hold And Being Stalked????"
"Folks."
"Our Government Is Beginning To Look A Lot Like Satan."
"Instead Of A Player Protective Football Coach."
"How Long Does Dotty Dumpling Hold On To HER Dowery????"
"And...Why Do MEN Want To Look Like Dotty????"
"AM I Still Boy To The Rifleman????"
"Or...Is It A Prisoner Of Real MEN???"
"At Age 49???"
"Folks????"
"'These' Are Not MEN."
"What Was Coach Edwards Trying To Do Anyway, Protect Marlin And Myself By Not Telling The Secret Play????"
"Boy@!!**&&##!!"
"Or...BIIIIIIIIIIIIG MEEEEEEEEN."
"The Actor Who Played Boy To Chuck Connors' The Rifleman Was Afraid Of Connors."
"So AM I, Fellow Boys."
"And, Women."
"I AM Two Years Gary's Senior."
"And...Probably President Bush's And Maybe Putin's Former Father..."
"And...Probably Christ And Magdalene's Former Father From Before The Biblical Flood."
"Gary's CD-ROM Drive They Just Installed Didn't Work, So Gary Couldn't Boot His Computer With Windows 98..."
"Yesterday...We Went To Second Chance Computers To Get A CD-ROM Drive, And Gary Drove Me There, Too, In His Madison Gas & Electric Car, Which He Says Is His."
"He Had To Pay $30.00 For The CD-ROM And A 28K/Second Modem..."
"He Said He Had To Have His Computer!*&$##!"
"While He Was Driving, I Couldn't Help But Notice, He Did Not Seem To Like Driving That Car, And I Also Noticed That He Really Did Not Fit That Particular Car."
"Holmes...He Told You He Bought It In 1992, After Initially Indicating He Bought It After His Lineman Injury In 1988."
"Watson...I Think He Is Lying."
"He Immediately Took Me To His Brother-In-Law's House So He Could Give His Brother-In-Law His Computer To Have Him Install The Modem, Etc."
"He Didn't Introduce Me."
"Funny Man."
"I Sat Outside And Made A Friendly Comment That It Wasn't The Heat, It Was The Humidity."
"Today...Arlene And Gary Came Into His Apartment After It Had Rained, Bringing With 'Them' His Computer."
"I Could See His Brother-In-Law Was A Retired Executive, Watson."
"And...There Always Is The Attorney's Desk With Arlene Sitting Up At The Computer Gary Couldn't Afford."
"We Went To See Merlin Last Night..."
"I Asked Him If He Got His Computer And His Spiritual Writings Up On The Web, Yet, Because He Said He Was Buying A Computer In June And It Was, Now, July."
"He Said No."
"He Continued To Try And Denigrate Me In His Gentle-Ribbing-Spiritual Way, And I Got Angry."
"He Told Me He Did Not Believe In Illusions {Like Mother Teresa Or Niniane????}."
"He Told Me His Spiritual Writings Were For HIS SEFF!!!"
"I Told Him That I Was Getting At Least 165 Visitor Sessions @ 30 Minutes A Session On Average, And That It Would Give Him An Avenue To Enlighten Others."
"But He Was Clearly Playing Dirty Little Girl Games."
"He Said...Now...He Would Buy A Computer At Christmas, And Was Eventually Going To Put His Writings On The Web."
"He Said He Did Not Believe In Computers And Instead Of Sitting In Front Of A Computer All Day, He Went Out For Walks In The Park."
"I Did Not Tell Him That I Was Being Stalked."
"I Have Witnessed The Skinny-Nosed Guy."
I Have A Theory."
"IT Is Physics."
"On A Human Level."
"The Skinny-Nosed Guy Is A Negatively Charged Electron-Male."
"I AM A Positively-Charged Round-Nosed Guy."
"THE PROTON."
"The Neutrons Are Mostly Females And Are Usually Slightly Negatively-Charged."
"The Electron Spits Gently At The Proton."
"While The Neutron Clings Gently To The Proton."
"All Neutrons Cling To Protons And The Proton Communicates To Them."
"The Electron Spits At The Proton, But Also Communicates With The Neutron."
"I AM ALWAYS Being Spit At."
"Particularly By Skinny-Nosed Guys."
"I Do Not Like IT!!!!***&&##!!"
"I AM An Imprisoned PROTON."
"MY Hard-Earned Money Is Being Stolen."
"And...'They' Always Want To Turn It Around On Me Deceitfully."
"'They' ALL Want MY Girl."
"And...MY LIFE."
"'They' Are DUM-DUMs."
"Try Cyndi Lauper's Song..."
"HE'S A DUM-DUM. Mistress Carey????"
"Well...It Is A Deep Subject."
"For Nazis."
"Merlin Or Richard Koepsel Said I Was One????"
"And He Is A Spiritualist???"
"Fascinating, Watson."
"WHY??? IS GOD Or GODDESS Or BOTH Corrupting My Files And My Web Page."
"THE CORRUPTING GOD????"
"Maybe THEY Are Just Trying To Prove To ALL OF YOU That THEY Have Absolute Control Over THE UNIVERSE And The Computers!!!!"
"Folks."
"But..."
"Muscles Do Not Make The Man."
"Power Does Not Make The God."
"And...Weapons Do Not Make The Nation."
"And...Police Do Not Make The Country."
"And...The Son Does Not Make The Father."
"Folks."
"Sanders Is A Bushie Nazi Just Like President Bill Clinton."
"Were We Nervous When We Were Preparing To Go Through The Van Allen Radiation Belts???"
"Why Do The Moon Photos Look Fabricated????"
"Why Couldn't The Russians Get Through The Van Allen Radiation Belts???"
"Did I Know Anything About Area 51???"
"Did Physicist Werner Von Braun Know???"
"Several Of These Questions Were Asked...Sort Of...But None Were Answered???"
"Is Jeff Rense Also Under A Top-Security Constraint???"
"What About Art Bell????"
"These Are Questions."
"Folks."
"I Still Remember The Absolute Ecstasy Of The Houston Mission Control Center When The Monkey Came Back Alive!!!!!"
"Absolute Ecstasy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"And...The Sudden Interest In Monkeys In America!!!"
"What Had We Discovered????"
"Three Russian Astronauts Died Trying To Go Through The Van Allen Radiation Belts."
"And...They Never Tried Again."
"What An Absolute Shame...They Tried...And Died."
"We Want Them Back."
"Folks."
"THE MONKEY!"
"Folks."
"THE GODDESS."
"I Just Was Having A Chimichanga, When I Looked Down..."
"Large Droplets Of Blood On The Floor?????"
"I Immediately Looked All Over Me For A Wound Or Cut..."
"Nothing."
"I Figured...Magic Blood."
"I, Then, Decided To Walk To The Refrigerator."
"Bloody Tracks Which Appeared To Be Coming From My Right Foot."
"I Checked Both Bottoms Of Both Feet..."
"Nothing."
"Magic Blood!!!!!!!!"
"I Cleaned IT Up During The Show."
"Now...We Have A Global Warming Problem."
"All Day...It Rained And Has Been Cooler Outside My Apartment Than Inside My Apartment."
"The Fan Has Been Running In My Window All Day."
"I Can Feel GOD And GODDESS Heating The Air Around Me, And On The Window Side Of The Fan, As I Type."
"When Do THEY Give Us A Reasonable Environment????"
"We WILL See."
"Folks."
"I AM Only Transcribing This For Jeanine And Because I AM An Honest Being And Care."
"Not For Greed Or Glory."
"Folks."
"...Protector Of Chimps..."
"And...Bob Marley Of The Wailers Reggae Rock Band Was Leontyne Price's, My Son, And Jeanine's Son-In-Law!!!!!"
"I AM An Intelligent-Hard-Working Softie."
"'They' Are Hard-Working Nazis?????!?"
"You Can Also Buy Kate Smith, Here."
"I Guess Jeanine And I Have Many Sons And Daughters In-Law From Rebirth!!!!!"
"And...We Want Bob Marley Back For His Parallel Woman...Probably My Former Daughter And Jeanine's Daughter-In-Law!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Folks."
Day Dream Believer
Male Voice: "Seven..."
Davy Jones: "What number is this, man???"
Other Monkees Voices: "Seven A."
"The Magic Blood On The Floor, In My Apartment Was Redder Than My Blood."
"Jeanine's Blood????"
"I Wonder What I AM Being Set Up For, Here, In My Apartment????!!!???."
"I Have Been In Madison All Day, In My Apartment, Typing, With Only Ghosts."
"Only Ghosts???"
"Folks????"
"Folks."
"Maybe All The Spirits In My Apartment Are Shedding Heat????"
"In America The Motto Goes - 'Prosecute Others As You Would Have Them Prosecute You.'"
"THE ANTI-CHRIST."
"Folks."
"The Biblical Moses Was An Ethiopian Coptic Jew."
"Kurdt Cobain Of The Alternative Rock Band Nirvana And Courtney Love Of The Alternative Rock Band Hole Were Phyllis Diller And Liberace's Son And Daughter In Sweden!!!!!"
"There Is A 20 Minute Solo Piece After A Super-Long Silence On The CD, Where Kurdt Keeps Saying, 'Trrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiinnnnngggggg Maaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmm!!!**&&###!!!!!!**##!!'"
"Courtney Love, Former Daughter Of Phyllis Diller And Liberace, Got A Nose-Job And Altered The Way Her Face Looks..."
"Liberace Has Courtney Love's Former Nose."
"Joan Rivers Was Kurdt Cobain And Courtney Love's Former Daughter."
"And...Liberace And Phyllis Diller's Former Grandaughter..."
"Every Individual Has Their Own Personal Preferences."
"The Law Enforces Other People's Preferences On Everyone Else."
"Outcasts Are Made, Either Religiously, Or Legally."
"Religious And Legal Outcasts, Historically, Have Formed New Sects, Societies, Or Cultures."
"They Have Discovered That Established Religions Or Societies Are Persecuting Them For Becoming More Christ-Like And Have Become Anti-Christs Themselves."
"Can We ALL Get Along????" - Rodney King
"We WANT Them Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"AND...Re-Married."
"Folks."
"It Was Jimmy Durante Who Was The Inspiration For And Launched The GREAT Tom Waits..."
"And...Jimmy Durante Was The Final Incarnation Of A Dodo Bird!!!!!!"
"THE LATE GREAT?????"
"Git Behind The Mule!!!!***$$###!!!?!"
"I Called My Lawyer, Candy Pollock, The Woman I Had The Job Interview The Following Day, After The Police Beating, With, And My Youngest Brother, Bill, And Asked Him For A Boot Disk For My Computers..."
"I Paid For A Boot Disk!!!***###!!"
"I Should Have One."
"It Has Been Two Weeks, I Left Each One Of Them A Message On Their Answering Machine, And No One Called Me Back."
"My Lawyer, Mark Frank, Told Me That He Would Contact The Investigator To Interview The Female Police Who Took The Second Breathelizer."
"After Waiting Two Weeks And Receiving No Return Call, I Called Him."
"I Told Him What My Case Manager, Bob Dansbury, Told Me, That It Was Common Courtesy To Return Someone's Call After An Answering Machine Message Has Been Left."
"He Told Me He Had Not Contacted The Investigator."
"We Set Up An Appointment For August 3, At 10am."
"Holy Shit!!!***$$###!!?!"
"It's Like Pulling Teeth With You People."
"I Feel Like A Mule, Lumbering With Other Mules..."
"Every Time I Call My Brother, I Have Left Him A Cheery Answering Machine Message To Call Me Back, And Every Time I Call Him, Suddenly, He Has His Answering Machine On."
"Do I Even Have A Family, Here????"
"It Is The Same, Damned Thing With Candy Pollock."
"And...Also...Neighbor Care Billing..."
"Someone/Anyone????"
"Folks."
